The Continuing Day by Day
by Spike Speigel1
Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?  Events occur post Knockout.  Chapters 12 through 14 now up.  Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 1 of 14.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 1:<strong>

The world continues to move around him, the smell of antiseptic and blood wafting in the air. People are yelling, coughing, screaming in pain around him, but all he hears is a dull roar as he focuses on his hands. He focuses on the darkened crimson that, only minutes ago, was a damp red.

It's her blood. He still has her blood on his hands. And he can't find the urge to wash it off. Because it's the only part of her he still has. He's thinking the worst, because the writer in him always thinks the worst. She's dying on the other side of those plastic double doors with the two oval windows. The blood is seeping out of her, and there's nothing the doctors can do to save her. She's going to die…

He shakes his head, pushing the thought away as quickly as he can, his eyes still focused on his blood-drenched palms. He can still feel her in his hands as he tried to stop the blood. His mind goes back to his last words to her.

_I love you, Kate._

He closes his palms, his hands balled up into fists. He shuts his eyes, pain radiating from his chest, as though he himself has been shot. He can feel his breathing quicken, his fingers digging into his blood-stained palms. He can feel the world slipping away from his, his breathing becoming more and more ragged. He takes one last, quick breath before exhaling sharply, his eyelids flying open.

At this moment, Richard Castle can feel the pain subsiding, but still lingering like a nagging reminder. The world comes back into focus as he begins to focus on the sounds surrounding him. And in that moment, he hears a voice calling out to him.

"Castle?" He looks up, his hands falling to his sides, to see the last person he wants to see at this very moment. "You still with us?"

Castle nods slowly, answering the doctor's question. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Good. Because for a second there, I thought you were hyperventilating."

"No." He finds himself lying, but he's not entirely sure why he does it. "Just waiting for news." He finally asks the question he doesn't want to know the answer to. Because he's afraid that the answer will change his life utterly and completely. "Is she…?"

Josh smiles a small smile as he answers Castle's implied question. "She's not out of the woods yet. But we managed to stop the bleeding. We transfused her with four pints of blood, and now we wait."

"And her heart?"

"If the bullet had been an inch higher, there's no doubt in my mind that Kate would be dead right now." Castle looks on, the confusion evident in his face. "The bullet missed her heart by less than an inch."

"Oh." Castle looks down again, his eyes focusing on his hands once more.

"You saved her life."

Castle doesn't look up. Instead, he spreads his fingers, still marveling at the amount of blood caked on his hands. "What?"

"If you hadn't stayed with her and applied pressure to her wound, she most likely would have bled out in the cemetery."

So much blood. Her blood. "Oh."

"Are you sure you're okay, Castle?" He can hear the concern in Josh's voice. "We have an on-call psychiatrist if you need someone to talk to."

Castle closes his hands once more, pushing against the bench with the heels of his palms, before standing in front of Josh. "You keep her safe. No matter what." He starts to walk away from Josh, the urgency in his stride evident.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

He doesn't turn back as he pushes the emergency bay doors open. "I have no idea."

* * *

><p>He stands in front of the door for what feels like hours until he finally makes the decision to knock on the door. He swings the knocker twice, stepping back almost immediately. He looks down at his hands, trying to recollect when he washed his hands. Everything between the hospital and now seems like one big jumble in his mind.<p>

The door opening stirs him from his thoughts, Castle looking up from his hands, and almost ashamedly putting his hands in his pockets as he does so.

"Mr. Castle?"

"Hello, Evelyn." For some reason, he wants to look away from her, as though he's the reason the woman in front of him no longer has her husband, but he steels himself.

"What…what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you and the girls were okay. After the shooting, I lost track of…" Castle sighs softly. "Everything."

Evelyn Montgomery can hear the sadness in Castle's voice, so she manages a smile before talking. "We're fine, Mr. Castle."

"Call me Rick."

"Okay. Rick." Both share a gentle laugh before she continues. "Esposito and Ryan escorted us back home after the..." She chooses her words carefully. "Incident."

Castle nods. "Are they still here?"

"They just left to pick up dinner for the girls and myself." She shakes her head slightly as she continues. "They wouldn't let me cook them dinner."

Castle grins at the thought of his two friends acting as a food delivery service. "I'm sure they weren't commenting on your cooking. They probably just wanted you to spend time with Rebecca and Mary."

Evelyn gives Castle a bewildered look. "You know my daughters' names?"

Castle responds frankly. "Roy and I would often talk about being fathers with daughters."

Evelyn smiles at Castle, finally realizing that they've been having a conversation by her front door. "I'm sorry. Please, come in." Evelyn steps backwards, waving Castle inside with her hand. Castle nods, entering the home of Roy Montgomery for the first time in his life. "Let's go into the living room."

"Okay." Castle follows Evelyn, his eyes falling on the family pictures adorning the living room. "Where are the girls?"

"They're upstairs. After the cemetery, they wanted to be alone."

Castle nods, thinking that he hasn't talked to Alexis or his mother since the cemetery. He'd have to remedy that situation as quickly as possible. "I get that." Both sit on opposite ends of the couch in the living room, Castle's gaze falling on the old recliner in the corner. "Let me guess. Roy's?"

Evelyn manages a small laugh. "I pleaded with him to get rid of that old thing. But you know what he'd tell me?" Castle shakes his head, anxious for the answer. "He'd tell me, 'Evy, it's taken me years to get that chair to the point that it's mine. I'm an old man. I don't have time to break in another chair.'"

Castle can hear the sorrow in her voice as she reminisces about her former husband. "I'm sorry." Evelyn turns from the recliner to Castle, a furrowed brow greeting him. "I didn't mean to…"

She waves him off, knowing that she's not the only one grieving at the moment. "It's okay, Rick. Really." She reaches over to Castle, squeezing his arm, before continuing. "How's your girlfriend?"

This time it's Castle's turn to be confused. "What?"

"Kate. I thought you'd be at the hospital still. Is she okay?"

Castle finds himself stumbling for words. "She's not…we're not…um…"

It's at this point that Evelyn Montgomery finally understands Castle's predicament. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought…"

Castle waves his hand apologetically. "It's okay. She has a boyfriend."

Evelyn eyes Castle for a moment before getting up from the couch. She walks into the adjacent room, leaving Castle alone in the living room, as she calls out to him. "It's just, the way Roy would go on about you two. Every night, it was practically Beckett and Castle this and Beckett and Castle that." He can hear Evelyn's gentle laugh as she continues. "You two meant a lot to him. I hope you know that."

Castle responds earnestly. "And he means a lot to us, as well."

Evelyn returns to the living room, holding a large manila envelope in her hand as she rejoins Castle on the couch. "I'm sure he did." She extends her hand with the manila envelope, motioning to Castle with her eyes. "Roy…left this for you. He wanted me to mail it to you, but after everything that's happened, it must have slipped my mind."

Castle takes the envelope from Evelyn, giving it a quick once over, before responding. "Do you know what it is?"

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. But the way Roy was carrying on, it seemed important." The knock on the door garners both of their attention, Evelyn getting up from the couch once more to answer it, leaving Castle once more with the thick, manila envelope in his hands.

"Hey, Castle." Castle looks up from the envelope to see Ryan and Esposito walking into the living room, bags of what looks like take-out Chinese in their arms. Esposito speaks once more. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Castle puts the envelope down on the coffee table, getting up from the couch to greet his friends. "There wasn't much I could do at the hospital, so I decided to come by and see if Evelyn and the kids were okay."

Ryan nods as all four individuals walk into the kitchen. Ryan and Esposito place the bags on the island in the middle of the kitchen, offering Evelyn a hand to unpack the contents, while Ryan turns to Castle. "So, how is she?"

Castle slides his hands into his pockets, leaning against the door jamb connecting the living room and kitchen. "She's out of surgery. Josh says it's up to her now."

Evelyn places the last of the containers on the counter, noting that the conversation has just taken a dramatic turn. "You guys set the plates, okay? I'll go see if Mary and Rebecca are ready to eat." The three men nod at Evelyn, Esposito responding.

"Yes, ma'am." And with that, Evelyn leaves the kitchen, making her way upstairs to her daughters' rooms. Esposito walks over to the cabinet behind him, pulling out some plates while he talks. "So, you staying for dinner, bro? We got enough here to feed a small country."

Castle shakes his head. "Thanks, but I should probably get home. Spend some time with Alexis and my mother."

Ryan responds. "Okay. So, you going back to the hospital later? Maybe we can give you a ride."

"No. Not right now." In that moment, Castle remembers the envelope. "Hey, did Montgomery leave you guys an envelope as well?" Both men give him a quizzical look as Ryan pulls out silverware from a drawer.

"No, what envelope?" Castle holds his hand up to Ryan, indicating for him to hold on for a second. Castle disappears into the living room, returning to the kitchen momentarily with the manila envelope. "Oh, that envelope." Castle nods, placing the envelope on the counter next to the plates of mushu pork and fried rice. "Did you open it?"

Castle shakes his head once more, his hand near the end of the envelope. "No, not yet."

"Well, open it up." Castle turns to Esposito, noting the anxiousness in his face.

Castle hesitates for a moment, turning his attention to Ryan. Ryan shrugs his shoulders as though opening the envelope couldn't hurt. However, seeing as how Montgomery has only addressed the envelope to himself, Castle decides against Esposito's request.

"Later. I really should be getting home."

Esposito turns his attention back to the plates, making sure each is filled with enough food. "Okay. You need one of us to drop you off?"

Castle shakes his head politely. "That's okay. I'll call for a cab." Both partners nod their heads, Ryan moving to the refrigerator and Esposito moving to another set of cabinets. As Ryan opens the fridge, Castle begins to speak once more. "There is something you guys can do for me though."

Ryan responds, his head still in the fridge, unable to find what he's looking for. "Anything."

"Can you guys stop by the hospital and see if the protective detail is still assigned to Kate's room?"

Esposito places five glasses on the counter, looking over his shoulder to his partner, who triumphantly holds up a bottle of milk as he shuts the refrigerator door behind him. "Yeah, bro. We were going to do that anyway. Once the officers come over to relieve us here."

Castle nods at his friends, turning to walk away. But he stops for a moment, not looking back as he speaks. "Tell Evelyn I said goodbye. And, if Kate's up, could one of you…"

Ryan completes his thought. "We'll call you."

Holding the manila folder under his arm, Castle begins walking to the front door. "Thanks." Ryan and Esposito watch as their friend disappears into the living room. Then the sound of the door opening and closing. Ryan looks to Esposito, concern on his face.

"Do you think he's okay?"

Esposito responds truthfully. "How'd you feel if it was Jenny that just got shot?"

Ryan nods, both men returning to their chore of preparing dinner, both knowing the answer to Esposito's question.

_**Continued**_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 2 of 14.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 8:<strong>

Castle leans forward in his chair, the manila envelope on his office desk. To tell the truth, the only reason it's taken him this long to get to it is because of Gina. She's been after him to promote Heat Rises, and Castle does so for a few days, if only to appease his ex-wife. But now he has time. Time to finally open the envelope that Captain Montgomery has left him. His hands are clasped, his elbows on the desk, as he reads his name in Montgomery's handwriting once more. And, once more, his mind keeps on coming back to the same thought. What was so important that Montgomery could only trust Castle?

He shakes his head, a condescending laugh leaving his lips. "You're making this out to be more than it probably is." After all, if it was something dire, wouldn't Montgomery have left it with Esposito or Ryan or...

Castle doesn't finish the thought, realizing that he still hasn't seen her since the cemetery. And while every fiber in his being is screaming at him to get up and just be with her, something else keeps him seated, his hands now gripping the thick envelope.

He pushes the thought away, his hand moving to the flap, tearing it deftly in one motion. His hands push on the sides of the envelope, the top yawing open. Castle reaches in, pulling out the contents and laying them on the desk.

The contents consist of three manila folders. Castle notes the emblem on the top of each and realizes that these are not ordinary manila folders. "Case files?" Castle turns his attention to the other item in the envelope. A solitary sheet of paper, folded in half. Castle unfolds it, seeing Montgomery's handwriting once more. He leans back in his chair, reading the letter that Montgomery has left him.

_Castle,_

_If you're reading this, then I'm already dead. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but I'm most sorry for not being honest with you and Beckett when you convinced her to reopen her mother's case. So, let me do one right thing by you, and be honest._

_The deal was I keep Beckett in check. As long as she never actively sought the man that ordered the murder of Johanna Beckett, she was safe. But once you two found Coonan, I knew it was only a matter of time. So I started putting together a little insurance policy for Beckett._

_In these files, you should have enough leverage on the man responsible for Beckett's mother's murder. The only thing I've left out is the name of this individual. I can't give this to you, Castle, because then you'll be in as much danger as Beckett is. And also, I need you to pick up where I left off._

_I meant it when I said that the only person that could make Beckett stand down is you. I know Beckett. And it takes a lot for her to trust someone. And I can tell just by the way she looks at you that she trusts you. Completely._

_So, here comes the hard part. Beckett can never know about the files I've given you. If she does, she'll end up the same way her mother did. I gave them to you because I know you'll know what to do with them. Use them to protect Beckett. Even if that means lying to her and betraying her trust. This is the hard part I was talking about._

_I lived with the lie for years. But I shouldered the burden. Because my doing so made sure that Beckett would be safe. So, I'm asking you to shoulder the burden now. And I know you will. Because, I can tell just by the way you look at her, she means more to you than you'd ever admit._

_Keep her safe, Castle. I leave it in your hands._

_Roy Montgomery_

Castle folds the note, holding it in one hand as he remains in silence for a moment. He knew that Montgomery had lied to Beckett. But he would have never imagined the magnitude of the lie. Not until the note, of course.

Castle leans forward, hands rubbing his face as he mutters, "Roy. What have you gotten me into?" Castle's gaze falls on the folders, garnering his attention. He leans forward, placing Montgomery's note to the side as he picks up a folder. Undoing the clasp, he begins to leaf through the documents. Nothing seems to stand out at first. Then, he sees it. He's seen these files before, but instead of the name Napolitano, Montgomery's name was now listed as the officer of record. So, these were the originals that Montgomery had doctored to keep his association with Raglan and McCallister a secret. Castle continues to page through the files, thinking to himself, if Montgomery had replaced his name with Napolitano's, what else had Montgomery replaced? Castle knows that there's something in these files that Montgomery wanted him to see. As he continues to page through the file, he notices something that shouldn't be there. Castle flips back a couple pages, now certain that these pages shouldn't be in the file.

"Why did you put banking statements in here?" Castle leafs through the statements, unable to make heads nor tails of the numerical jargon. But he has a good idea who might be able to help him. Castle wonders if the other two files are the same, and quickly unsnaps the binding on the second. He hurriedly thumbs through the pages, stopping when he sees the same header in the upper left. "Bank of Dubai."

No longer thinking this a coincidence, Castle reaches for the third folder. But as he begins to unsnap the binding, a small business card falls out onto the desk. Castle places the folder to the side, picking up the card between his thumb and index finger. Bringing the card closer, Castle flips it over between his fingers, the blank side making way for a solitary image. One that Castle recognizes immediately.

"An ouroboros?" A serpent eating its tail stares back at Castle as he flips the card back over, thinking that he maybe has missed something. But sure enough, the other side remains blank. He ponders the symbol for a moment before sliding the card into his shirt pocket. Then he turns his attention to the final file, flipping through the pages until he comes across the bank statements once more.

Castle leans back, realizing that he'll have to be more thorough with the files. But three sets of files with similar bank statements. Castle leans back, wondering what the Bank of Dubai has to do with this so-called leverage that Montgomery alluded to in his note.

The sound at the entrance to his study startles him, bolting Castle upright from his chair.

"Dad?"

Castle closes the file as casually as he can, standing up as he does so. "Alexis. What are you still doing up?" Alexis begins to walk toward her father, but Castle moves in her direction, wanting to keep the files out of sight of his daughter. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I couldn't sleep. I can't stop thinking about the cemetery."

Castle instinctively wraps his arms around his daughter, Alexis looking up at her father. "I know. Me neither."

"Did you just come back from the hospital? I didn't hear you come in."

He shakes his head as he speaks. "I went to see Captain Montgomery's wife." Partly because of the guilt. No, entirely because of the guilt, he corrects himself.

A small frown graces Alexis's face. "How is she?"

Castle knows better than to lie to his daughter. So he doesn't. "She's coping."

"And his daughters?"

"I didn't see them. They were in their rooms when I was there."

His daughter's response takes him by surprise. "They must be in so much pain."

Castle smoothes Alexis's hair, his voice gentle as he speaks. "What makes you say that?"

"Because I know I would be if I lost you."

Castle smiles at his brilliant little girl, placing a small kiss on the top of her head. "Well, you don't have to worry about that. Because I'm not going anywhere."

Alexis's voice is solemn at this point. "It could have been you." Castle looks at his daughter, puzzlement on his face. "What if you had gotten to Detective Beckett sooner?"

"Then she wouldn't be in the hospital."

"And you would."

"Alexis, what are you saying?"

Alexis pulls herself away from her father's embrace, stepping backward as she looks up at him, contemplating his question. "You just ran out there."

"What?"

"You just ran out there when you heard the shot. Because you wanted to protect her."

Castle gauges his daughter's tone, realizing that she's upset with him. "That's right."

"And you didn't even think about me or Grams." It's definitely anger that Castle hears in her voice now. "What if there was another shot?"

"But there wasn't."

"You didn't know that!" Castle can see that his daughter is on the verge of tears, the light glinting in her eyes. "You ran out there and you didn't even think about us!"

Castle closes the distance, enveloping his daughter into his arms. She tries to push him away, but this time he holds her close. "I'm sorry. You're right." Castle can feel Alexis beginning to relent, her sobs rending his heart. "I didn't think."

"It could have been you, Dad."

Castle begins to rock his daughter in his arms, finally appreciating the scope of his actions in the cemetery. "I'm so sorry, Alexis. I didn't think."

"But you did." Castle looks down at his daughter, the tears beginning to flow freely down her face as she speaks between sobs. "You thought about saving Beckett."

He realizes that he could never hide the truth from his daughter. So he remains silent as he holds his daughter, trying to comfort her with his actions. Because, at the moment, he's failing with his words.

_**Continued**_


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 3 of 14.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 10:<strong>

"Castle, where did you get this?"

It's been only a few hours since he faxed over the bank statements to Agent Fallon. But based on the urgency in his voice, he realizes that he's stumbled onto something more important than he initially thought.

"I'm sorry, Fallon. But I can't tell you that."

He hears the frustration in Castle's voice as he continues. "I had my guy in accounting do a trace on the account number, and he keeps getting stonewalled. It's as if…"

Curiosity's gotten the better of Castle at this point. "It's as if what?"

He sighs. "It's as if there's a lock on the account."

"A lock?"

Fallon realizes that Castle doesn't know the shorthand, so he expounds. "A government lock. It might be military. It might be something else. But according to my agent, the only time a lock like this would occur is if we're talking about large sums of money."

"How large are we talking about?"

"Hundreds of millions. Maybe billions. It's hard to say. But the only feasible reason a lock like this would be in place is so investigative agencies can't go prying around in the database. "

Castle inquires about the lock further. "Why would a lock like this be in place?"

"I can only think of two possible reasons."

"Which are?"

"Terrorist funding's one. And based on the location of the account, that's probable."

"And the other?"

"Black ops."

This option piques Castle's curiosity. "Black ops? As in military operations not avowed by the government?"

Fallon's answer is concise in its nature. "Pretty much."

And in that moment, Castle thinks back to Lockwood's phone recording. "Continue mission."

"What's that, Castle?"

Fallon's voice stirs Castle from the memory. "Sorry. Just thinking out loud. So, is there any way to get past the lock and see whose name is on the account?"

"Castle, when I say that you'd need God himself to grant you access, I'm not speaking in hyperbole."

Castle shakes his head in frustration. "Is there anything else you can tell me about the account?"

"I can send an official inquiry to the bank and see if that ruffles any feathers…"

Castle cuts him off. "No. I don't want them to know that anyone's looking."

"Them?" The confusion in Fallon's voice is evident as she continues. "What aren't you telling me?"

Castle hesitates for a moment, deciding whether to tell him about what's transpired in the past few days. But realizing that he needs a backup plan just in case things don't go the way he foresees, he decides to tell Fallon everything. "Captain Montgomery's dead. And Kate's been shot."

The surprise in Fallon's voice is unmistakable. "What happened?"

"I think the men that did this are somehow linked to that bank account."

"Castle, what are you saying?"

His voice is steady. "I'm saying that the man responsible for killing Kate's mother might be involved in all of this. And I'm not going to stop until I find him."

Fallon can hear the determination in his voice. So he tries to talk him down. "Look, I know Beckett means a lot to you…"

"It's my fault."

"What?"

"If I hadn't convinced her to reopen her mother's case, none of this would have happened."

Fallon finds himself at a loss for words. This was not the same man he met some months ago. This wasn't the confident, carefree Castle. No. This was a burdened man. A man with a guilty conscience. "Rick, you can't blame yourself for Roy and Kate."

"Watch me."

There was the Castle that he knew. "This isn't a game, Castle. Look. You should be with Beckett right now. So, you go and do that, and I'll call you if I find out anything else about the account. Okay?"

Castle's voice is timid; hushed, as he speaks. "Agent Fallon, do you remember how you felt when your wife died?"

Fallon nods, knowing that Castle can't see him. "I'll never forget that moment, as long as I live. Why are you…"

Castle answers his question before he can ask it. "Because that's how I felt when Beckett got shot." Both men remain silent, both understanding the other a little bit more. Finally, Castle breaks the silence. "I need a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"I'm about to do something incredibly stupid. So, I need you to keep those statements safe. I'll leave instructions with my lawyer if you don't hear back from me in a month's time."

"Castle, whatever you're going to do, just don't. Let…let me send some of my agents out to New York and they'll take over for you."

Castle ignores his offer as he speaks. "Remember. One month. Call my mother for my lawyer's number. Hopefully, I'll speak to you soon."

"Rick…"

Castle presses the End button on his phone, contemplating the word as he stares at his phone. End. For some reason, Castle can't help but think that the word seems fitting at the moment. Nevertheless, he begins scrolling through his contacts once more, stopping at the name he was looking for. He presses the Send key on his phone and waits for the person on the other end to pick up.

Roy was right. If Castle was going to go through with this, he'd need an insurance policy of his own. The phone clicks on, and Castle speaks into the receiver.

"Hello. Agent Shaw. It's Rick Castle. I need your help."

_**Continued**_


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 4 of 14. I added two days in this chapter because they flow better when read together in one sitting. Also, because there's only so much you can write about what happens during Day 12. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Day 12:<strong>

She can feel the blood seeping out of her body as Castle tries to stop the flow. She can't move, so she looks up at him, watching his lips move. He's afraid.

Three years with Castle, and she's never seen him as afraid as he is now. He holds her in his arms, pleading with her to stay with him and not to leave. Silly man, Beckett thinks. Where would she go? She's just been shot. It's not like she can move at the current moment.

And then four simple words.

_Kate, I love you._

Followed by the same statement, just in a different order.

_I love you, Kate._

And then nothing but darkness. Except for the faint glimmer at the corner of her eye. It's the only light source that she can see, so she begins to walk toward it. She soon realizes that the closer she gets to the light, the brighter it becomes. So, she picks up her gait, moving effortless from a walk to a run.

She feels a weight beginning to push against her chest, but she continues to run. Beckett stumbles once, the pain becoming unbearable to the point that she falls onto one knee. But, she manages to push herself up from the floor, resuming her dash toward the light.

As she runs, and the light becomes brighter, Beckett thinks she sees a silhouette in the light. As she gets closer, she can see a hand reaching out to her in the darkness. So she does what comes instinctively, and reaches out.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 14:<strong>

According to her father, she's been unconscious for two weeks since the cemetery. He tells her that her friends have been visiting her, the makeshift garden of flowers sitting on the table in the room indicating as much. But when she asks about Castle, Jim Beckett changes the subject, instead asking whether she's in pain.

She tries once more, hoping that this time her father's response will be different.

"Did Castle say if he'd be coming by today?"

And once more, Jim Beckett looks elsewhere while answering her question. "Katie, Rick's probably just busy with his new book coming out. But I'm sure he'll stop by when he has a chance."

At this point, Beckett decides to let it go. She could call him later once she checked out of the hospital. But, still. Where was he?

_You know what we are, Castle? We are over._

Beckett tries to push the thought away, but finds herself failing miserably. Maybe he was just honoring her last request? Was that why she hasn't seen him since the cemetery? The door opening garners both Becketts' attention as Josh enters the room with a clipboard. Most likely her medical chart, Beckett thinks to herself.

"Mr. Beckett, you're still here."

Jim continues holding his daughter's hand as he responds. "Still here." He motions to the clipboard with his head. "So, what's the word? Can I take Katie home?"

Josh smiles at the senior Beckett before shifting his gaze to the one in the hospital bed. "You'll need physical therapy, but from what I can see, all your counts are normal. So, I don't see why you need to take up this bed one more night." He says the last statement jokingly, but neither Beckett seems to get the gist. Josh clears his throat before continuing. "Well, let me go and get a nurse to bring you a wheelchair, and we'll discharge you, okay?"

Jim stands up from Beckett's side, squeezing her hand before letting go. "Let me do that. I want to push my little girl out of here."

Beckett doesn't mean to blush, but her father being this protective of her reminds her of simpler times. "Dad, it's okay. Let a nurse do that."

Her father shoots her a smile before leaving the room. "No chance. See you in a bit."

And with that, Jim Beckett leaves the room, Josh and Beckett sharing glances, neither knowing what to say to the other. After a moment of silence, Josh breaks the stalemate.

"So, are you in pain?"

Beckett nods her head slightly, sitting up as she does so. "Some. But nothing I can't manage."

"That's good." Then another moment of silence. Beckett knew it'd be awkward, but she never imagined that it'd be this awkward. "Look, Kate. We never really got a chance to talk about…"

Beckett waves her hand, knowing exactly where the conversation is headed. "Josh, I told you it wasn't your fault."

Josh runs his hand through his hair as he responds. "Yeah. I hear you say it, but…"

"It was me." Beckett swings her legs off the bed, the soles of her feet touching the cold tile beneath. She pulls her feet back momentarily before placing them firmly against the tile. It's been a while since she's felt this sensation. Of the ground beneath her. She turns her gaze back to Josh, as she continues. "You're a great guy, but I was lying to myself. And I didn't want to keep you from finding someone who really loves you."

Beckett pushes herself up from the mattress, her legs wavering a moment before she steadies them with her hands. Josh can't help but smile at the woman in front of him. At her strength and conviction. He offers her a hand, and she gladly takes it as they walk over to the suitcase that her father brought over the night she was admitted. Beckett rummages through the clothes, noting that her father has picked every possible combination in her wardrobe that doesn't match. Nevertheless, Beckett eventually settles on a pair of jeans and a pale blue turtleneck. She looks over her shoulder, motioning to Josh to turn around as she gets dressed.

With his back turned, he can hear her sliding out of her hospital gown and then the jeans sliding up her long legs. Josh clears his mind, returning to their conversation. "You didn't tell Castle about us, did you?"

The sound of denim moving against skin stops as Beckett's voice fills the void. "What makes you say that?"

His answer is terse, to say the least. "Because he told me to keep you safe just before he left. To quote Castle, 'No matter what'."

Was that the reason he hadn't been by to see her? Because he thought he'd be in the way? After all, as far as Castle knew, Josh was still her boyfriend. Why hadn't she told him? It wasn't like the opportunity never presented itself. "The opportunity never came up," Beckett lies to him.

"Well, I think there's another reason you haven't told him about us."

Beckett fastens the button on the jeans before working her way into the turtleneck. "Oh, and what's that?"

Josh's response is to the point. "Because you're afraid."

Beckett pokes her head through the narrow opening, her arms finding respite in the sleeves. "Afraid? Of what?"

"I have no idea. But, then again, that was the problem with us. Castle knows more about you than I do, and we've been…" Josh looks for the right word, not wanting to incite Beckett. "Intimate."

Beckett finally pulls the turtleneck over her torso, walking past Josh, a pair of shoes in her hand. She sits in the chair previously occupied by her father, pulling on her boots, as she talks. "Are you gloating?"

This elicits a chuckle from the cardiac surgeon. "Far from it. I'm just stating the obvious."

Beckett looks up at Josh, curiosity getting the better of her. "Which is?"

Josh smirks at her. "You're right there. Almost ready to take the next step with Castle. And you're stopping yourself. I'm not in the way anymore. So…" He folds his arms, the clipboard now under his arm. "What's stopping you this time? Because, clearly, it's not me."

Beckett diverts her gaze from Josh and back to her remaining boot. She pulls it up and begins to work on the laces. "It's complicated."

Her words garner another chuckle from Josh. "Why do I get the feeling you've been using that one for a while now?"

The door swings open before Beckett has a chance to defend herself, Jim pushing a wheelchair into the room, a smile growing on his face upon seeing his daughter up and about. "You ready, Katie?"

"Almost, Dad. Can you get the suitcase?" Her father nods, walking past Josh and closing the suitcase on the other side of the room. Beckett turns her attention back to Josh, noting that he's still looking at her. Still waiting for an answer. She stands up, feeling almost whole again upon getting dressed into something other than that wretched hospital gown.

Josh realizes that he's not going to get that answer from Beckett, so he watches silently as Beckett seats herself in the wheelchair, her father holding the small suitcase to his side. He then looks at Beckett, the doctor emerging once more. "Give me a call if the pain's still a problem after you finish your meds. And if you need the number of a physical therapist…"

Beckett shakes her head. "Thank you. But I already have a physical therapist."

Josh gives her a bemused look before shaking her father's hand. "Sir."

"Thank you for fixing my daughter."

"No thanks needed. Just doing my job." Josh turns his attention back to Beckett, extending his hand to her. She hesitates for a moment, but eventually extends her hand as well, both shaking. "A word of advice before you go?" Beckett gives him a puzzled look, but nods approvingly nonetheless. "You've got a second chance. Don't blow it this time. Okay?"

A smile slowly emerges on Beckett's face as she pulls Josh closer to her, wrapping her arms around his neck. She whispers in his ear, her father looking on. "Thank you. For everything."

Beckett slides back into the wheelchair and Jim Beckett wheels her out into the hallway. Josh steps out of the room with them, but doesn't follow as they walk toward the exit. Instead, he just stands and watches as they disappear into the sunlight.

_**Continued**_


	5. Chapter 5

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 5 of 14.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 14:<strong>

Castle knows he's being a heel at the moment, but he doesn't want to face Alexis and his mother. So, he waits until they're both out and about before packing his suitcase. He's already booked his flight on Emirates, and all that's left to do is leave his family the note to let them know that he's okay.

He doesn't feel good doing it this way, but he doesn't think he'll be able to answer their questions. So, like a wolf in the night it is then. Castle checks his jacket pocket, seeing that his passport is still there. He has enough physical money for a month in Dubai. And if he needs more, he can always wire it.

Castle finishes writing the note for his family, placing it next to a copy of Heat Rises. He's already written Beckett's note, the note resting between the dedication and cover page. At least she'll have something to do while he's away, he thinks to himself. Castle picks up his ticket, gripping it in his hand, before turning around to retrieve his suitcase.

However, he doesn't get very far when he hears the door behind him opening and closing. Castle turns around to see his mother standing there with a perplexed look on her face.

"Richard, are you going somewhere?"

He lies. "Yes, Mother. Book tour for Heat Rises."

"Oh." Martha walks over to her son, looking him over, while Castle begins to feel uncomfortable under his mother's gaze. "Where are you off to?"

He lies again. "Los Angeles. Gina thought it best so I could visit the Heat Wave set and check on the progress of the movie."

Martha's response is concise, to say the least. "You're lying."

"Mother. What reason would I have to lie to you?"

Martha points to the ticket in Castle's hand before answering his question. "Because last time I checked, you shouldn't have to fly Emirates to get to Los Angeles. You only fly Emirates if you plan on visiting our Arabic neighbors." Castle frowns, realizing his mistake. "So, Richard. I'll ask you again. Where are you going?"

Castle's voice is hushed, almost apologetic in tone. "I can't tell you."

The surprise in Martha's voice is noticeable at this point. "You can't… Well, why not?"

"Because the less you know, the safer you are. Both you and Alexis."

Martha's voice has shifted tone, moving from questioning to motivated. "Richard Castle, whatever you're about to get yourself mixed up in, don't."

Castle matches his mother's tone as he retorts. "I can't. I have to fix my mistake."

"Mistake? What mistake?"

Castle doesn't look at his mother as he answers. "It's my fault that everything's happened." He turns his gaze to his mother, realizing that she's even more confused. So, he expounds. "Roy. Kate. All of it. It's all my fault. If I had just listened to Kate when she told me to leave it alone, none of this would have happened."

Martha can see the pain and sorrow in her son's eyes, so she decides not to press him any further. Instead, she walks over to him and wraps her arms around his neck. "Whatever you're about to do, it's for Beckett, isn't it?"

Castle leans into his mother's embrace, his hands still holding the ticket and suitcase. "How could you tell?"

Martha answers her son honestly. "Because you stopped calling her by her last name."

Castle laughs, the realization now dawning on him. Martha releases him from her embrace, Castle motioning with his head to the copy of Heat Rises on the dining room table. "Tell Alexis that I'll be home soon. And if you could, could you see to it that Kate gets the book? And, give her a few minutes with it."

She doesn't understand her son's last request. Nonetheless, she smiles as she responds. "I can do that."

Castle gives his mother a loving smile before bending down and kissing her on the cheek. "I'll be home soon. Promise."

Martha nods, patting Castle on the shoulder. "Go on, then. Hurry up. The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll be back. Right?"

Both share a chuckle as Castle walks to the front door. "Right." He doesn't look back when he walks into the hallway. For if he did, he would have seen Martha with tears in her eyes.

_**Continued**_


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 6 of 14. Posting this tonight because I probably won't have access to my laptop tomorrow. So, two chapters in one day. Huzzah!

* * *

><p><strong>Day 18:<strong>

She doesn't mean to scream, but after five days of physical rehab, the pain in her chest coupled with the pain in her abdomen do their job when she sits up one final time. Her body falls back almost immediately to the mat, Beckett letting out a sharp breath before inhaling deeply.

"You okay?"

Beckett nods, sitting back up slowly as Lanie comes into view over her knees. "I'm okay. Just a little sore." Lanie releases her grip on Beckett's feet, patting her on the knee as she gets up. Beckett remains seated as Lanie walks over to her workout bag to pull out a bottled water she tosses the bottle over to Beckett, who catches it with one hand, the condensation on the bottle splashing droplets on her palm as she begins to unscrew the top.

"Any tightness in your chest?"

Beckett shakes her head, taking a swig from the cold bottle, gasping slightly after she swallows the welcomed liquid. "No. Just muscle soreness. But I guess that's to be expected, right?"

Lanie nods as she returns to the middle of the gym mat with her friend, sitting next to her feet once more. "Your muscles need to mend, so there's going to be some soreness for a while. Maybe another two or three weeks."

"Three more weeks of this?" Beckett jokingly replies. Lanie's response is to throw a towel in Beckett's face. However, her rehabilitation must be on track, because just as she did with the bottled water previously, she catches the towel with her other free hand, wiping her brow of sweat. "But seriously, thank you. For helping me."

"It's not a problem. I'm just glad you're back on your feet." Lanie's head slumps down momentarily, as though she's lost in thought.

"What's wrong?"

Lanie stirs from her thought, a small smile on her face as she answers her friend's question. "Do you know how lucky you are?"

This time Beckett tilts her head downward, remembering the day in the cemetery. "I think I do."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

_I love you, Kate._

"I'm sorry, what?"

Lanie asks her question once more. "What's the last thing you remember? After you got shot, I mean."

She thinks she remembers Castle crying and pleading for her to not leave him. But that could just be her memory playing tricks on her. After all, she had just been shot in the chest.

_Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay? Kate, I love you._

Beckett shakes her head, the memory coming in short bursts. "I'm not sure, really." She looks back up to her friend, seeing a hint of sadness in her countenance. "Can you fill in the blanks?"

"Okay. What's the last thing you do remember?"

Castle trying to push her out of the way of the bullet, but being too late? "I remember Castle over me. I think I remember him holding me in his arms."

Lanie nods, continuing where Beckett's memory left off. "I was too far away. After the shot, Javier put his body in front of mine, keeping me low just in case another shot happened. But from what I could see, it looked like Castle was talking to you while he was holding you in his arms. And, I swear I'll never forget this…" Lanie shakes her head slightly, the thought of that day beginning to shake her resolve.

"Forget what?"

Lanie looks back at her friend, completing her thought. "He started to cry when you closed your eyes."

She doesn't know why, but she feels as though she's on the verge of tears after hearing her friend's recollection of events. However, she doesn't let on, instead taking a deep breath before speaking once more. "Thank you."

Lanie nods, a small smile once more emerging on her lips. "So, have you talked to him?"

Beckett shakes her head slightly, her chest beginning to hurt. Must have overdone the workout, she thinks to herself. "I keep on getting his voicemail. Martha did call me though. Wanted me to stop by his place later."

"Did she tell you where he is? Because Javier isn't talking. All he'll tell me is that he's okay, and that he'll be home soon."

This is new information. The last time Beckett talked to Esposito and Ryan, they had told her point blank that they had no knowledge of Castle's whereabouts. Instead, they had told her he was probably on tour promoting his latest book. She'd have to talk to them again. Soon.

"Is there anything else that Esposito told you?"

Lanie thinks for a moment, trying to recollect, before answering. "Only that he was out of the country."

Out of the country? What was Castle doing? Beckett nods, sharing a smile with her friend, before speaking. "I'll ask Martha when I see her later what's going on." Beckett motions to her feet, a sigh leaving her lips. "One more set?"

"Sure." As Beckett lies back down on the mat, she hears Lanie's voice even though she is out of view. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot." She realizes that her choice of response would probably make Castle chuckle if he were here.

"Why are you with Josh?"

Beckett sits back up, looking at Lanie as though she's asked her for the meaning of life. "What?"

"I don't get it. I see the way you look at Castle. And I see the way he looks at you. And after the cemetery, I know he cares about you. A lot. Hell, I haven't even seen Javier cry, and I've slept with him."

"Lanie…"

"You haven't been this happy since Castle started shadowing you. So, I have to know. Why Josh?"

Beckett opens her mouth slightly, but then closes it when she realizes that she doesn't know the answer. So, instead, she tells her friend a truth that no one knows, other than Josh. "I'm not with Josh anymore."

"What?"

Beckett repeats herself. "I'm not with Josh anymore."

The surprise on Lanie's face is unmistakable. "How long?"

"Right after I got back from L.A."

"L.A.!"

"Lanie!"

The women look around the gym, noting that Doctor Parrish's outburst has garnered them some attention. Both smile apologetically before returning to their conversation.

"You've been single since Los Angeles?" Beckett nods. "So, you and Castle are…"

Beckett shakes her head. "No. We're not."

Lanie glances at her friend for a brief moment before responding. "I should slap you. Seriously."

"Lanie…"

"What's wrong with you? You're single. Castle's single. So what's stopping you?"

Beckett answers truthfully. "I honestly don't know."

"Okay, then how about this. Why did you break up with Josh?"

Beckett's answer is almost instinctive. "Because I wasn't in love with him."

"Okay. Then, who are you in love with?"

_I love you, Kate._

Beckett shakes her head, returning back to her previous position on the mat. "I don't know." She feels Lanie's hands bracing against her feet. As she begins her set of sit-ups, she hears Lanie's voice.

"You're an idiot. You know that, right?"

Beckett exhales as she sits up, looking briefly at Lanie before returning to the mat once more. "Yeah, I know."

_**Continued**_


	7. Chapter 7

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 7 of 14. Halfway there!

* * *

><p><strong>Day 20:<strong>

Beckett stands in front of Castle's door, knocking twice before stepping back. She half expects Castle to open the door and yell, "Surprise!" but she knows that he won't. The last time she saw him was in the cemetery. And then he was gone. But where?

The door opens, stirring Beckett from her thoughts, Martha standing in the doorway.

"Kate!"

"Hello, Martha." Before she realizes what's happening, Martha Rodgers has her arms around Beckett's neck, pulling her into an embrace.

"I'm glad you're okay, kiddo."

Beckett can't help but smile at the greeting. "I'm glad to see you too." Martha releases Beckett, a huge smile on her face. "You said over the phone you had something to give me?"

Martha snaps her fingers, as though she's just remembered a secret long forgotten. "Oh, yes. Come in, come in." Martha walks back into the loft, Beckett following closely, closing the door behind her. "It's something Richard wanted you to have when you woke up."

Richard. It sounded odd. She'd always called him Castle, and Rick on a few occasions. But Richard? Beckett tried the name in her head, rolling it around. After a moment, she decided that only Martha could ever call him that. To her, he'd always be Rick.

Beckett stirred from her thoughts, seeing Martha emerging from Castle's study with her hands behind her back.

"Close your eyes and hold your hands out."

"Martha…"

"Come on, now. My son was adamant that this be a surprise." Beckett relents, closing her eyes, and holding her arms out to Martha. As she does so, she feels the heft of the object being placed in her hands. "Okay, open your eyes."

Beckett does as instructed, opening her eyes on, "A book?"

Martha looks perplexed for a moment, then realizes what's wrong. "Oh, hold on." She turns the book over, the cover now facing both women. "That's better."

Beckett sees the title and smiles a small smile. "Heat Rises."

"Okay. I'll be back in five minutes." Martha starts to walk into the kitchen, but Beckett calls out to her, confusion in her voice.

"Martha?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Richard said that I'm supposed to give you some time alone when I gave you the book." Martha shrugs her shoulders. "I love that boy, but sometimes he can be a bit cryptic." She turns back around, now rummaging through the refrigerator.

Beckett looks down at the book, unsure as to why Castle would want her to be alone with it. So, she does what comes natural to someone that has a book in her hands. She opens it. She thumbs past the copyright and review pages, reaching the dedication. Upon flipping to the page, she sees that there's a small envelope with her name on it, in Castle's handwriting. Then, her eyes move to the dedication.

_To Roy Montgomery._

_A better man, I'll never know._

Beckett picks up the note from the folds of the book, rereading the dedication once more. And at this moment, she closes her eyes and whispers to no one in particular. "Rick…" She closes the book, the naked silhouette of Nikki Heat no longer aggravating her. She simply lays it down on the coffee table next to her as she opens the envelope. There's a folded piece of paper inside, which she retrieves. With a quick flick of her wrist, the note unfolds, and Beckett begins to read.

_Kate,_

_I'm sorry. For everything._

_Rick_

To say that Beckett is puzzled after reading the note is an understatement. She's about to read it again to make sure she read the note correctly, but Martha comes back from the kitchen, a glass of something green in her hand.

"Shake?"

Beckett shakes her head, noting that she's just survived a gunshot. She'd hate to go back to the hospital for food poisoning. "No, thank you." Beckett holds the note out to Martha, hoping she can shed light on it. "Do you know what this means?"

Martha takes a sip from her shake, swirling it around a bit in her mouth before swallowing. "Needs more salt." Beckett cringes slightly, wondering if Castle ever has an edible meal when he's at home. Martha places the shake on the coffee table, taking the note from Beckett. She reads the letter, and then looks back to Beckett. "Well, that explains why he left in such a hurry."

Martha's response still leaves Beckett bewildered. "I don't understand."

Martha looks at Beckett, hesitating for a moment before responding. "I'm not sure Richard would want me to tell you."

"Martha." Her voice is almost pleading at this point.

Martha motions to the couch, sitting on one while Beckett sits on the other one, the coffee table now between them. As they both look at each other across the coffee table, Martha can't help but picture her son sitting where Beckett is sitting right now. "It's funny. I usually talk to Richard about you when I sit here. And now here I am talking to you about Richard."

For a moment, Beckett wants to ask Martha what she's spoken to Castle about in regards to her, but the troubling message that Castle left her currently trumps everything. "Martha, please. I need to know." Her voice becomes focused, tensed. "What does this note mean? And where is he?"

Martha nods solemnly. "I don't know where Richard is. But the note…" Martha wonders if she should really be telling Beckett about her previous conversation with her son. Before he disappeared. But the look in Beckett's eyes tells her everything she needs to know. She's just as concerned about her son. "Kate, are you sure you want to know?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." Beckett doesn't mean to be straightforward, but at the moment, she just needs to know if Castle is okay.

Martha lets out a small sigh, before giving Beckett her answer. "He said that it was his fault that Captain Montgomery died. And that you got shot. When I asked him what he meant, all he said was that if he had just listened to you, none of this would have happened." Martha leans toward Beckett, her brow furrowed. "My turn. What did Richard mean when he said he should have listened to you?"

Beckett ponders Martha's answer, unsure of what Castle's words mean. "I don't…"

_What are you doing?_

Beckett shakes her head, the memory hitting her like a punch to the chest.

_Castle, you touch my mom's case, and you and I are done. Do you understand?_

And just like that, Beckett understands what Castle's apology means. And she finds herself at a loss for words. Martha, seeing the troubled look on Beckett's face, inquires into her current state.

"Kate? What is it?"

Beckett looks up at Martha, the memory still lingering. Still lost in thought, she says the first thing that comes to mind. "Oh, Rick…" Martha comes into focus, Beckett clearing her head with a sharp exhale. "Martha, I need to talk to him. Do you have a working number?"

Martha shakes her head, still wondering about Beckett's response. "I'm sorry, dear. I've tried calling him, but all my calls…"

Beckett finishes her sentence. "Go to voicemail."

Martha nods. "What's going on, Kate? What aren't you telling me?"

Beckett answers truthfully. "I wish I knew, Martha. I wish I knew." Her mind goes into detective mode, thinking of what she should do first to find Castle. She gets up from the couch, Martha following her cue. "I have to go." Beckett leans over, picking up her copy of Castle's latest novel, sliding the note back into the book. She looks to Martha once more. "If he calls, can you ask him to call me? Please?"

"Of course, dear." Beckett nods, a meek smile on her face as she begins to walk to the front door. But before she can leave Castle's loft, Martha calls out to her. "He loves you, you know." This gets Beckett's attention, stopping her midstride. She turns back to Martha, seeing a protective mother. "So, that tells me something must be terribly wrong because instead of being by your side after you were shot, he decides to take a jaunt to parts unknown."

Martha's confirmation of Lanie's recount of the event at the cemetery takes Beckett by surprise. "Martha…"

Her voice is calm, yet determined. "I don't know what's going on, but when you find my son, tell him."

The confusion in Beckett's voice is evident. "Tell him what?"

Martha sighs, frustration tinting her words. "You two are perfect for one another. You're both cowards." Beckett tries to respond, but Martha waves her off. "Just…find him. Okay?"

Beckett nods, still pondering Martha's last comment. "I'll find him. I promise."

_**Continued**_


	8. Chapter 8

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 8 of 14.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 20:<strong>

Castle stares out of his hotel window, currently located at the Al Murooj Rotana. He looks out at the city below him, the building lights reminding him of New York in the darkness. Except quieter. He swirls the tumbler of bourbon in his hand, watching the lights move below. And he finds himself at a loss.

He doesn't know what to do next. He's spent the past few days walking through the shadier parts of the city and asking anyone if they recognized the business card with the ouroboros on it. Most just ignored him for the tourist he was while a select few were cooperative even though they told him they've never seen the symbol before.

It wasn't until he got to the financial district that he started getting a different response. Most would avoid eye contact with him upon seeing the card, while others would physically move or push Castle away from their stores, pleading with him to leave.

He knows that he was close. But, without knowing exactly what he was looking for, it was like a sadistic game of Marco Polo. And Castle was treading water in the deep end of the pool. Castle takes a big gulp from the tumbler, knocking back most of the bourbon previously in the glass. His eyes squint at the aftertaste as he brings the glass back down to his side.

His gaze continues moving across the city skyline, not looking for anything in particular. He just needs inspiration. Something. Anything to direct him to his next course of action. Because moving through Dubai a bit at a time was getting him nowhere. Castle lets out a loud exhale before finishing off the last of the bourbon. He places the tumbler on the table next to him, exchanging it for the card with the ouroboros on it.

Castle holds it up to the large plate glass window, flipping it between his thumb and index finger, his gaze alternating between it and the Dubai skyline. He knows the card is the key. But the key to what? That was the part he was getting stuck on.

He flips the card back to the circular symbol of the serpent, tapping the edge against the window, when out of the corner of his eye, he sees it. Castle lowers the card, focusing into the distance at the poorly lighted billboard on top of some nondescript building.

"Bank of Dubai."

And just like that, the wheels begin to turn in Castle's head. He has the account number. What was the worst that could happen? Get thrown in jail? Castle whispers to no one in particular, as the novelist takes over, writing the scene in his mind.

"Hundreds of millions…," Castle trails off. Surely, someone would notice hundreds of millions of dollars missing from their account. Wouldn't they? He makes a mental note that he has to call Agent Fallon after he gets some rest.

Castle drops the card on the table, narrowly missing the tumbler. He pulls off his shirt before falling onto the bed. He reaches for the lamp on the nightstand, flipping it off before staring into the darkness. The lights from the skyline provide the only ambient light in the room, creating an otherworldly glow.

Castle wonders what Beckett would think of his newly minted plan as he closes his eyes. After all, she was a cop. And Castle was about to do something cops usually frown upon. He places his arms behind his head, realizing that even though his eyes are closed, he won't sleep. Truth is, he hasn't had a good night's sleep since the cemetery. Because every time he starts to dream, all he dreams about is not being able to save her.

_**Continued**_


	9. Chapter 9

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 9 of 14.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 21:<strong>

It's been a while since he's worn a tie. He straightens it as best he can before looking up at the building in front of him. His hand comes over his mouth as he looks up, contemplating whether to go inside or just turn around and go back home. He can feel the short hair surrounding his lips and wonders if he should have shaved before coming here. No, Castle thinks to himself. The beard just might give him enough gravitas to get away with this.

His hand returns to his side, Castle taking a deep breath before speaking some words of encouragement.

"All or nothing."

Castle fidgets with his tie once more before walking up the steps and entering the building. Once inside, he stands in the lobby area until a man comes over to greet him.

"Hello, sir. How may I assist you today?"

Castle clears his throat, steeling his nerves for what's about to come next. "Hello. I'd like to complete an account transfer if that's possible."

The man smiles as he holds his arm out toward the direction of a large desk off to the right. "But of course. right this way, sir." Castle follows the man's lead, walking toward what is most likely his office. As the two men sit on opposite sides of the large desk, the banker asks Castle a rather simple question. "I'm sorry, sir. But I've been terribly rude. What is your name?" The corner of Castle's lip curves upward as he retrieves his wallet and fishes out the requisite identification he'll need later to complete his plan. He pulls out the driver's license and holds it out to the banker. The banker graciously takes the license from Castle, reading the name on it. "Hal Lockwood." The banker looks up, a smile on his face as he places the license on the desk. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lockwood."

Castle smirks, thanking Agent Shaw silently for providing him the identification when he called her last to request the same of her as he did of Agent Fallon. The writer in Castle knew that Lockwood was connected to this, whatever this was. Castle was about to see just how connected Lockwood really was. "Likewise, Mr…"

"Just call me Rashid."

"Okay. Rashid." Both men share a laugh before Rashid continues.

"Very well, Mr. Lockwood…"

"Hal."

The banker laughs once more before continuing. "Hal. Do you have the account numbers? First, I'll need the account you'd like to withdraw funds from."

"Yes, of course." Castle sees the notepad on Rashid's desk. "May I?" Rashid nods in the affirmative, Castle turning the pad toward him as he fishes a pen out of his pocket. He writes the account number on the pad, the numbers ingrained in his mind, followed by the account number that will receive the transfer. He pushes the pad toward Rashid, the once blank page now adorned with two ten digit numbers. "There you go."

"Thank you, sir." Castle looks on as Rashid accesses the account information. He doesn't realize he's holding his breath until he exhales deeply, covering it up with a cough.

"Sorry. Been a little under the weather as of late."

Rashid nods without turning away from the monitor. Castle knows this is a one in a million shot. After all, what are the chances that Lockwood's name is associated with the account? He can feel himself about to lose his composure when he realizes the utter stupidity of the plan. How could Lockwood's name be on the account? Wasn't Lockwood an alias? Castle begins to chide himself, when Rashid finally looks up from the monitor, turning his attention to Castle.

"Sir, this account is locked."

Castle goes with the moment, hoping there's still some way to get out of this in one piece. "Yes. Yes, it is."

Rashid raises an eyebrow, Castle's comment perplexing him somewhat. "Yes, sir. Now, if you'll give me the password, we can continue."

Castle feels his fingers digging into his thigh as he leans forward to look at the monitor. He hadn't expected this. Stupid Castle, he thinks to himself. "Right, the password." Castle's mind begins to recount everything associated with Beckett's mother's case as well as the files Montgomery left him. Then, almost as an epiphany, Castle knows the answer. "Do you mind if I write it down? Wouldn't want you to make an error in the spelling."

"Of course, sir." Castle writes down one word on the notepad under the two account numbers before giving it back to Rashid. This has to be it, Castle thinks as Rashid begins to type in the characters. After all, why would Roy had left the card in the files in the first place? Castle sees Rashid's pinky finger moving toward the Return key, and he says a silent prayer to whoever's listening at the moment. "Ah, there we go."

"Yes!" Castle exclaims, before regaining his composure. "Um, yes. Do go on."

Rashid gives Castle a cursory glance before turning back to the monitor. "Very well, Hal. From what I can see here, your current balance is eight hundred sixty four million, four hundred thirty eight thousand, five hundred twenty-six dollars. And ninety two cents. American." Castle's mouth opens slightly, the amount in the ballpark of Fallon's estimate. Rashid continues matter-of-factly, as though dealing with these sums of money were routine. "How much would you like to transfer to the other account?"

Castle grins as he leans back in the chair. "All of it."

"Very good, sir." As Rashid types in the pertinent keystrokes to move the money, Castle thinks to himself that he's made the first move. Now, all that was left was to wait for the response. Unless eight hundred million dollars and change didn't register to these people. "Rashid's voice stirs Castle from his thought, bringing him back to reality. "I just need you to sign here and here, and we can conclude this transaction."

Castle nods as he takes the pen from Rashid. "Thank you." Castle signs where Rashid has placed x's by, pausing briefly to remember the name he has to sign on the paper. He wasn't Richard Castle presently, but Hal Lockwood. Castle signs the paper, sliding both the pen and the paper over to Rashid.

"Is there anything else I can help you with today, Hal?"

Castle stands up from the chair, Rashid following in kind. "No, Rashid. That'll be all for today."

"Very well, sir. While we're sorry to see you leave, I hope you'll think of the Bank of Dubai for any future banking needs."

Castle smiles as he speaks. "I'll keep it in mind. Thank you, Rashid."

Rashid nods before Castle turns around and makes his way out of the bank. As he walks down the steps once more, Castle breathes a sigh of relief, wondering what his next move should be. It was a waiting game at this point. And what better place to wait than his hotel room?

Castle turns the corner, looking for a cab to take him back to the Al Murooj Rotana. That explains why he doesn't see the man walk up behind him, twisting Castle's arm behind his back. Castle doesn't know what's going on until he sees the black sedan pull up beside him. That was quick, Castle thinks to himself as he's shoved into the back seat.

Before Castle can make a witty remark, he feels something slide over his head and then a sharp pinprick in the region of his jugular. After that, there's only darkness.

_**Continued**_


	10. Chapter 10

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 10 of 14. Violence ahead so hide the kids.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 23:<strong>

The world comes into view painfully as the hood is pulled away from Castle's head. He squints in pain as the light comes flooding into his eyes. He blinks as he tries to focus on the figure standing behind the light. As he becomes acclimated with his lighting situation, he realizes that he's bounded to a chair, his arms strapped down on the armrest, his legs bounded to the legs of the chair. He tests the restraints, pulling against the leather straps about his wrists, as he speaks.

"Very Marathon Man. Is this the part where you ask if it's safe?"

The figure behind the spotlight responds. "I'm no dentist." He steps forward, Castle making out the outline of his face as he stands between him and the spotlight now. "And you're definitely no Dustin Hoffman."

Castle tries once more at the restraints, but the leather bites back. So much so, that Castle winces as he speaks. "Everybody's a critic."

"I'd have thought you'd be used to critics by now."

"Oh, so you know who I am, then?"

The slender man chuckles as he motions with a nod. Before Castle knows what's happening, a very large, muscular man steps behind him, his hands gripping the back of Castle's chair. "Of course I know who you are. As does my employer. That's the reason we're here, yes?" The man behind Castle is beginning to make him feel rather uncomfortable, but the man in front of him still holds the majority of his attention. "Before we begin, I have to ask you a question."

Castle can feel the chair flex in the man's hands behind him, as though he's trying to snap the back of the chair off. "About the money?"

"No, dear boy. We'll get to that when we get there." The slender man remains perfectly still as he poses his question. "Are you left handed or right handed?"

To say the question confuses Castle is an understatement. "What?"

"It's a rather straightforward question. Left." The man holds up his left hand to emphasize his words. "Or right." He puts down his left hand, now raising his right, waving it slightly at Castle as though he were waving hello.

Castle furrows his brow, uncertain as to the line of questioning. Nevertheless, he answers his host. "Right." Before Castle knows what's happening, the larger man behind him reaches down and grabs his left hand, working his pinky into his hand. It's at this point Castle realizes what's about to happen. "No, wait!" The audible crack is drowned out by Castles screams as he grips the chair with his right hand, wooden splinters working their way into his hand as he looks in awe at his pinky bent almost perpendicular to his hand.

"Here's how this works." Castle glances at the figure before him, tears blurring his vision. "I ask a question. You answer. If I'm not satisfied with your answer, my man will match the rest of your digits with your pinky. Nod if you understand." Castle nods, the pain radiating up his left arm still hampering his concentration. "Good. Question one. How did you find the bank account?"

"Montgomery. He left me some files with enough information for me to piece together the importance of the bank account." Castle's bluffing, but the slender man doesn't know that. All he was able to find in the files were the bank statements. Everything else just seemed extraneous.

The man nods. "Question two. Where's the money now?"

Castle smirks at the man in the white suit, realizing that Fallon's men have done exactly what he said they would once the transfer was complete. By shunting it from the original dummy account to numerous other dummy accounts all across the globe. And, unless the men behind the money knew this little fact, they'd be looking for a proverbial needle in a haystack. A rather large needle, but nonetheless in a still larger haystack. "Safe. I'm going to hold on to it until I'm satisfied that we've been able to come to an understanding."

The smirk from Castle's face drops when he hears the slender man's response. "Sounds like too much work. Go ahead and keep it. We can always make more. Question three, have you made copies of the files?"

The man wants the files and not the money? What had Castle missed in those files? "That's my Get out of Jail Free card. You kill me, and within an hour, those files will be sent to certain people that will know what to do with them." Another bluff. A month was the deadline he'd given to both Fallon and Shaw. Castle hoped that Lady Luck was still on his side.

"Smart boy."

Castle smirks. Apparently she was still watching over him. "Glad you approve."

The man shares Castle's smirk as he continues. "Question four. Why did you make it blatantly obvious that you wanted to speak to my employer?"

Castle answers truthfully. "Because I want to make a deal."

"A deal?" The slender, well-dressed man with the British accent and white suit motions to the burly man behind Castle.

Castle closes his fingers into a fist as quickly as he can, but his dislocated pinky only allows him to close it partially. Which allows the silent muscle to get a firm grip on his ring finger. "No! I've answered your questions! Stop!" Castle's pleas go unnoticed as his ring finger joins his pinky in pointing toward the ceiling. Castle whimpers at this point, the pain proving to be too much. "Why?"

"Because you have no leverage for a deal." The slender man in the white suit kneels down so he's eye to eye with Castle before he continues. "Which means you've wasted my time." Castle can hear the anger in the stranger's voice at this point. "And my time is very, very valuable." The man stands back up, motioning once more to the man behind Castle. Before Castle can interpret what's just happened, the larger man's hands close around Castle's neck. Squeezing.

Castle can feel his legs thrashing even though they're securely fastened to the chair he's currently sitting in. Currently dying in. He gasps, feeling his windpipe constricting. The light in front of him begins to dim, and at this point, Castle realizes, he's about to die. So he plays his trump card. Hoping that Lady Luck hasn't abandoned him yet.

"Ouro…boros!"

Castle can see the surprise on the slender man's face as he quickly speaks. "Stop!" The large man's hands hesitantly move away from Castle's throat after another motion from the slender man. As Castle coughs, the air rushing into his lungs, the slender man doesn't hide the concern in his voice. "Where did you hear that name?"

The coughing subsides as Castle focuses his sight on the slender man, a small smile on his face as he answers. "I picked up where Montgomery left off."

The slender man nods. "So, you said you wanted to make a deal?" The joviality in the man's voice is no longer apparent. "Well, what did you have in mind?"

Castle has the upper hand, so he pushes his luck. "Cut me free first." Another cough escapes Castle's lips before he looks up at the slender man, a glint of rage behind his eyes. "Now."

The slender man hesitates for a moment, the tone of his captive concerning him momentarily. However, he eventually motions to his partner, and within seconds, Castle can feel the leather restraints falling away from his appendages.

The pain is unbearable as Castle wobbles to his feet, his good hand remaining on the armrest of the wooden chair. He looks over his shoulder briefly, to see the large beast of a man still standing upright behind him. And, before Castle can register what he's doing, he sees the chair crashing against the man's right leg, bending it in a direction that no leg should ever bend in. As the hulk falls to his knees, bellowing in pain, Castle takes the remnants of the now shattered chair and slams it against his former attacker's throat, looking back at the slender man.

To his surprise, the man in the white suit remains absolutely still, instead taking in the events transpiring in front of him. Castle turns back to his now injured assailant, noting that he's gasping for air. For a second, Castle wonders if he's crushed the man's windpipe. It's the briefest of seconds. Castle looks down at his good hand, noting that all that's left of the chair is the armrest. Then he notices his malformed fingers on his other hand, and the rage comes once more. Castle swings the wooden plank across the large man's face, knocking him off his knees and onto his back, the armrest shattering into wooden splinters that adorn the now unconscious body lying in front of Castle.

The sound of clapping stirs Castle from his thoughts as he turns toward the direction of the sound. Upon turning around, he notes that the smile has returned on the slender man's face.

"Bravo! The reports were right about you. You do have a dark side, don't you?"

Castle ignores the comment about a report as he speaks. "So, deal? You want to hear it or not?"

"I'm absolutely riveted at this point. Do go on."

"First, Kate is off limits."

"No deal. She won't stop. Not now."

Castle sighs, realizing that the man in front of him is right. "If she doesn't stop, then what about a warning?"

Castle's question intrigues the slender man. "What kind of warning?"

He doesn't hesitate, realizing that he's come all this way to save Beckett. No matter the cost. The money didn't work. So, this time, Castle goes all in. "Me." Castle looks intently into the man's eyes as he reaffirms his offer. "If she does decide to come after your employer, you kill me. That should be enough to get her to stop."

"But she'll eventually start her pursuit after you're in the ground. I don't see the upside here."

Castle shakes his head. "You're underestimating my worth." He takes a deep breath, hoping that his gambit will pay off. "If I die, it'll be like her losing her mother all over again."

"And an ego to match, yes?"

Castle ignores the slender man's question, continuing. "She's in a relationship with someone else. But even with that, even with her pushing me away, she can't deny that there's something deeper than love between us. We push each other. We drive each other. And without her, I know I wouldn't be able to go on." Castle's voice drops to a hushed whisper. "So, if you were to kill me, she'd be unable to go on. Because as much as we deny it, we need each other." Castle finally stirs from his thoughts, realizing that he's finally spoken the truth that he's been running from for what feels like years.

The voice of the slender man catches Castle's attention. "You may be right." Castle looks on, still contemplating his previous words. "After all, if it wasn't for you, Detective Beckett would never have found Mr. Coonan. And from there, it all just spiraled out of control. Raglan's attack of conscience. McCallister. And eventually Montgomery." The slender man reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a Walther PPK pistol, aiming it at Castle. "Maybe I kill you right now and hope that you're bluffing about the copies of Montgomery's files?"

Castle straightens his posture, looking past the Walther and directly into the slender man's eyes. "If I was able to find Ouroboros, do you really think I'd bluff about the consequences of what you're about to do?" Castle begins to walk toward the slender man, the man squaring off his body as though he's about to pull the trigger. "You kill me now, your employer, Ouroboros, everything, comes crashing down. " Before the slender man knows what's happening, Castle's hand comes down on the pistol, holding the man's fingers tight so he can't squeeze the trigger. "And if you touch Kate, I swear to God I'll burn your organization to the ground."

The slender man doesn't struggle under Castle's grip. Instead, he wanly smiles as he responds to Castle's counter. "You really believe that, don't you?" Castle doesn't respond. The slender man chuckles as he continues. "You have a deal, Rick. May I call you Rick?"

Castle releases his grip on the Walther PPK, not making it obvious that his heart is beating much faster than it should be. "I mean it. I even suspect that your men are after her and…"

"Yes. Yes. You'll publish Montgomery's files, as well as what you've added. I understand. Likewise, if we suspect that Detective Beckett is actively inquiring about my employer, you die. Yes?"

Castle nods. "Yes."

"Okay, then." The man leans over, pulling a book out of a duffel bag. Castle can see a variety of scalpels and knives, and wonders how far his torture was supposed to have gone. However, when the slender man holds the book in front of Castle, he can't help but comment.

"You're kidding."

"Oh, I never kid, Rick." The slender man opens up the copy of Heat Rises, offering a pen to Castle. "Could you autograph it? My employer is a huge fan of yours."

At that moment, Castle finally realizes the significance of the left/right handed question. Castle snatches the pen from the slender man, no hint of emotion in his voice. "Who do I make it out to?"

"Your biggest fan." Castle can't tell whether he's joking or not, so he simply signs his name, still in awe at the events transpiring in front of him. The slender man notes the signature. "Well, I guess beggars can't be choosers." He then motions to a corner, wherein Castle makes out what looks like stairs. "Off you go." Castle walks past the slender man, noting that he's still holding the Walther at his side. As he begins to walk up the stairs, the slender man calls out to him. "I look forward to killing you, Rick!"

Castle doesn't know why, but he doesn't look back. Instead, he walks up the stairs.

_**Continued**_


	11. Chapter 11

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 11 of 14. Almost there!

* * *

><p><strong>Day 26:<strong>

Beckett sits at the booth, the documents Ryan and Esposito were able to find regarding Castle's current whereabouts strewn about the table in front of her. She should be back at her apartment doing this, but after spending days in a hospital bed, she wants to be out and surrounded by people. Plus, the coffee is pretty good here, she thinks to herself.

Based on the paper trail Ryan and Esposito were able to piece together, Castle booked a flight with Emirates two days after she woke up in the hospital.

Two days, she thinks to herself. What could Castle have possibly been doing in those two days that he couldn't… She shakes her head. She might not know what he was doing two days prior, but she knows why he didn't visit her. It's because he blames himself for what's transpired.

A frown forms on Beckett's lips as she spreads the papers out in front of her. According to the reservation, Castle flew coach. To stay under the radar, perhaps? But Ryan and Esposito were able to find the reservation. Then again, they knew who they were looking for. Even with Castle paying for the ticket in cash, a few days going through flight reservations was more than enough to find him.

She notes the destination. "Dubai. What's in Dubai, Castle? And why were you in such a hurry to get there?"

Beckett flips to Castle's recent phone calls, two names jumping out at her almost immediately. "Mark Fallon and Jordan Shaw." She taps her finger on the number for Jordan Shaw, pulling out her cell phone and scrolling through her contacts until she finds Jordan's number. She's about to put the call through, but a voice from the booth behind her gets her attention.

"I have a gun pointed at your back. Make no sudden movements and don't try to turn around. You do that, and I'll finish the job I started at the cemetery." The words freeze Beckett to her core as the man continues. "Now, put the phone down on the table, and put your hands, palm down, on the table, while you're at it."

Beckett complies, fighting the urge to look over her shoulder to see her would be assailant. Instead, all she can manage is the pointed question, "Who are you?"

She can feel the man sitting back in his booth, which means he's probably holding the gun under his arm, most likely covered by a jacket. That would explain why no one seems to be panicking given the fact that she's being held at gunpoint. "A friend of Hal Lockwood."

"Is that right?"

"That's right."

Beckett wants to ball her hands into fists, but she was given specific instructions to leave them flat on the table. Nevertheless, she pushes her palms into the table's surface. "So, why are you here? To finish the job? Because if that's the case, you picked a hell of a location."

The man chuckles at Beckett's observation. "There's no finishing. At least not today. And, as for the cemetery, I did my job."

This revelation surprises Beckett. "You weren't trying to kill me?"

The man's question puts Beckett at unease. "I gotta know. It was an inch, right?"

"An inch?"

The man clarifies his question. "Right below your heart. I was off by an inch. Give or take half an inch. Right?"

Beckett wants to place her hand over her chest, the bullet wound beginning to hurt her even though she's on pain killers. "That's right."

This seems to please Beckett's unknown companion. "Damn. I'm good."

Beckett's tone is condescending as she speaks. "Good to know. So, you gonna tell me why you're here, or do I have to guess?"

"You're a plucky one, aren't you? I can see why Castle fawns over you."

And suddenly, Beckett's mind goes into panic mode. "How do you know…"

"Darlin', we know everything about the two of you. Including the current location of your boyfriend."

The man doesn't faze Beckett with his taunt. Instead, she remains calm, knowing that this man might be able to tell her the whereabouts of Castle. "Where is he?"

"What? No longer curious as to why I've got a Glock pointed at your back?"

Beckett bites her lower lip, knowing that the man in the other booth can't see her beginning to panic. "Okay. Tell me, then."

"To the point. I like it." Beckett can feel the man shifting in the booth, steadying himself once more before he continues. "Your mother was a mistake."

"What?" The tone in Beckett's voice is no longer calm, a hint of anger threatening to overcome her.

"Your captain made a mistake, and that mistake led your mother down a path she wasn't supposed to go down. We thought attributing her death to random gang violence would put an end to this sad story, but we never counted on you and your shadow."

Beckett knows immediately who the man means when he mentions her shadow. "What mistake?"

"Can't tell you that, detective. I can tell you this, as per my employer." She hears him take a sip of something before he continues. "You need to stop. Now. We're both on the same side."

Beckett doesn't mean to laugh, but the words just don't sound right to her. "You're kidding, right?"

"Perhaps I've said too much." She feels the booth shift once more before the man's voice continues. "I want you to count to one hundred before you turn around. If you move before then, I can guarantee you that I'll hit that little heart of yours without so much as batting an eye."

The anger has completely enveloped her at this point as she responds. "I'll never stop. I promise, I'll get each and every last one of you sons of bitches, if it's the last thing I do."

The man's response is simple, yet ominous. "How many people do you have to lose before you get the message, darlin'?"

Beckett feels the booth shift once more against her back, panic beginning to set in once again. "What do you mean?" No response. She wants to turn around, but she knows she can't. So, instead, she raises her voice, hoping her visitor hears her. "Wait! What do you mean?"

The couple at the adjacent table shoot Beckett a cursory glance before returning to their conversation while Beckett begins to count. She finally balls her hands into fists as she does so.

_**Continued**_


	12. Chapter 12

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 12 of 14. Hours and minutes? Things must be coming to a head. Have a fun!

* * *

><p><strong>Day 29, Hour 18, Minute 4:<strong>

Castle looks down at his malformed fingers, now pointing in the general direction they should be because of the splint and bandage combo he received from the hospital in Dubai. He tries to bend them, but winces when the pain shoots up his arm.

"Oww."

"What was that, darling?"

Castle turns to his mother, his body sinking deeper into the recesses of the leather couch. "Nothing, Mother. Just some pain, is all."

Martha sits next to his son, placing the glass in his good hand. "Well, this should dull the pain some."

Castle looks down at the glass of scotch, leaning forward slightly to place it on the coffee table. "Maybe later. Right now, I just want to try and get some sleep."

She can see it in his eyes, as well as his face. Her boy looks utterly exhausted. She leans back, her body resting against Castle's arm. "So, did you find what you were looking for?" She sees Castle nod slightly, making no effort to voice his answer. "And Kate?"

This time he answers, albeit in a tired voice. "She doesn't have to worry."

"Good." Martha rests her head against Castle's, her voice matching his. "So, you can finally see her now." Her son's heavy sigh tells her all that she needs to know. She reaches out, and squeezes his good hand with her own. "She doesn't blame you, you know?"

The question gets Castle's attention. "What?"

"She asked me about the note you left her. And I told her what you told me before you left…"

"Mother…"

She can hear, what? Embarrassment? Shame? What is it that she's hearing in his voice? "Richard, you're not listening to me. She doesn't blame you for any of this." She sits up so she can look into his eyes as she speaks. "In fact, she's worried about you. She wants to see you."

Castle finally reaches for the scotch, tossing back the entire glass before returning it to the glass table. "Did you ever think that I'm not ready to see her?" Martha can see her son's emotions running the gamut as he struggles for what to say. "I did something, Mother. And I don't know how she's going to react when I tell her."

Her voice is soothing as she inquires about her son's statement. "What did you do?"

Castle squeezes his mother's hand, pressing his body further into the leather cushions, hoping that if he does this enough, he'll be able to escape from her queries. "The problem is, I know how you'll react if I told you."

The apologetic tone begins to worry Martha Rodgers. "Kiddo?"

Castle sighs, his mother's gaze boring holes into his soul. His mouth opens slightly as he begins to answer her question, but the front door swinging open gives him a moment to pause as he smiles at the person behind the door.

"Dad!"

Castle rises from the sofa with such speed, that he doesn't realize he's closed the distance between the living room and the front door until he's holding his daughter in his arms. "Daughter! Did you miss me?"

Alexis looks up at her father, noting the thin beard that has now covered most of her father's face. "Didn't have razors where you were?"

"Something like that." Castle smiles at his daughter before pulling her into an embrace once more. However, he winces slightly when his left hand attempts to grab her waist. A wince that doesn't go unnoticed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Really."

Alexis sees her father's eyes darting to his left hand, so she steps back, pulling his arm from her waist to see the splint around the two digits. "What happened?" Alexis cradles her father's injured hand, her smile transforming into a worried frown.

"I had a little accident. That's all." He can see that Alexis isn't believing his lie. She always was the brains of the family. He shoots her a huge grin before removing his hand from hers. "Nothing that a little time won't fix. Okay?"

Alexis nods, satisfied with her father's response. Both turn toward the living room when they hear the footfalls behind them, Martha now joining them. She reaches for a coat on the rack behind them, slipping it over her shoulders as she speaks. "Well, I wish we knew you were going to be home today, Richard. I would have booked the reservation for four instead of three."

Alexis's eyes widen upon hearing her grandmother's statement. "Le Cirque." She turns back to her father, apologetic in her tone as she speaks. "I'm sorry, Dad. But Grams made reservations for me and Ashley. It's his last day before he goes to Stanford for the summer term."

Castle shakes his head, a small frown on his face emerging as he processes Alexis's words. Just a few more weeks, and Alexis will be gone as well. He tries not to think about his daughter and Ashley alone in their dorm room as he speaks. "Go on. Have a great time. We'll catch up when you get back. Besides…" Castle runs his good hand through his beard, raising an eyebrow as he continues. "I should do something about this before I go mad. Mad!" He cackles loudly, Alexis and Martha exchanging eye rolls with each other.

Alexis hugs her father once more before joining Martha at the front door. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Alexis."

Martha's interjection lightens the mood. "We'll bring you back a doggy bag."

This time, father and daughter share a glance before the women depart. But before they close the door, Castle calls out to his mother.

"I love you too, Mother."

Martha waves her hand over her shoulder before closing the door behind her, leaving her son once more in an empty room. A situation he hates to admit that he's gotten used to. He begins to walk back to the couch, but makes a detour at the liquor cabinet to pour another scotch to dull the pain. He sinks back into the couch, working on the Castle-shaped groove he'd been working on prior, while nursing his second scotch. Unfortunately, the knock at the door pulls Castle from his buzz, Castle frowning as he rises from the couch. As he approaches the front door, looking at it quizzically, he realizes that it's probably his mother.

"Mother, did you forget your purse? Because I don't think Ashley would think kindly of me if he had to pay for you."

He opens the door, expecting his mother and daughter to be on the other side. However, it finally dawns on him that they wouldn't need to knock. After all, they have a key.

_**Continued**_


	13. Chapter 13

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 13 of 14. Almost there. Can you feel it?

* * *

><p><strong>Day 29, Hour 18, Minute 12:<strong>

It's been over a day since her incident in the coffee shop, and the stranger's final words to her are still bothering her. It also doesn't help that the glass he left behind didn't have any prints on it. She was dealing with a professional. Ryan had told her that CSU was processing the booth, but Beckett knows that they won't find anything. If this person was a friend of Lockwood's, he was probably just as dangerous. Just as careful. Add to that that she has no idea what happened to Castle after he left the airport in Dubai, and Beckett is starting to feel that awful sensation in her gut. Why did Castle leave for Dubai when Heat Rises just hit the shelves? Shouldn't he be out promoting the book? So, what was so important that he had to go half way around the world?

Beckett shakes her head slightly, as though doing so will push the question from her mind. But it only reminds her that she's standing in front of Castle's building because she now has to break a promise to Martha. Unless she physically got on a plane and flew to Dubai, all trails leading to Castle were gone.

The doorman waves at Beckett as she smiles at him. As she waits in the lobby for the elevator, she looks over her shoulder, back at the doorman. When she first started working with Castle, she had to show her ID almost every day to get into the building. But, three years later, and she can come and go as she pleases. Beckett shakes her head once more, mulling over the thought.

Three years. A lot had certainly happened in the three years since she met Castle. And a lot had changed. She sees her reflection in the brass of the elevator door, the ends of her hair moving slightly due to her current location under an air duct.

When she met Castle, her hair was barely shoulder length. And now she could be in a Revlon advertisement if she really wanted to. Why did she let it grow out? Beckett contemplates her reflection in the door, her mind going back to a time when Castle's hand had run through her hair. It was the briefest of moments, but when they kissed, she had momentarily hoped that Castle was commenting about the kiss itself instead of her deft movement to subdue the guard in front of Lockwood's hideout. Still, he had held her close. And, more importantly, she had held him close as well.

Her thoughts suddenly shift to her apartment, remembering when she told Castle that they were over as partners. Beckett frowns somewhat at the thought, recalling Castle's words. He was right. How could he have known what they were to each other when she constantly kept him at arm's length?

The bell for the elevator stirs Beckett from her thoughts, the detective stepping aside instinctively as the doors slide open. When the two familiar figures step out from the car, Beckett speaks, a hint of surprise in her voice.

"Martha. Alexis."

Both women turn to Beckett, Martha the first to respond to Beckett. "Kate, dear. What are you doing here?"

Alexis waves at Beckett, a huge smile on her face as she greets the detective. "Detective Beckett."

Beckett returns Alexis's smile, noting that the younger Castle is abnormally happy. Even for Alexis's standards, before turning back to Martha. "Actually, I came here to see you, Martha. It's about Castle."

Martha holds her hand up, shaking her head slightly as she speaks. "I'm sorry to have put you through all that."

"Put me through…"

Alexis answers Beckett's question before she has a chance to ask it. "He's upstairs if you want to see him. I'm sure he wants to see you."

Beckett turns her gaze from the younger Castle, back to Martha to confirm Alexis's statement. "He got in this afternoon. And Alexis is right. I'm sure he wants to see you." Beckett opens her mouth slightly before closing it again, the news of Castle's return just too much to process at the current moment. However, before she can think of something to say, Martha looks down at her watch. "Oh, sorry, Kate. We have to be off. Reservations at Le Cirque. But, I guess that's for the best." She gives Beckett the look of a concerned, protective mother at this point, Beckett picking up on the look immediately. "I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on."

Beckett nods her head before Martha and Alexis walk past her. "Have a good night, ladies."

Martha Rodgers doesn't turn around as she guides Alexis onto the sidewalk outside. "Likewise."

Beckett hears the slight hint of…playfulness? That might be right. After all, Castle was home. Beckett's head turns to the elevator once more, pressing the button. The door slides open, Beckett stepping inside and pressing the button for Castle's floor with her thumb.

She's been on this elevator numerous times, but this is the first time that it feels as if it's taking an eternity to get to where it needs to go. Beckett stares up at the digital display, as the floor numbers illuminate one by one, Beckett counting in her head, hoping that somehow her counting will speed up the rate of the illumination.

Finally, the elevator bell dings, Beckett stepping out of the car and walking at a hurried pace in the direction of Castle's loft. When she gets to the door, her hand stops in midair. Why was she hesitating? Martha and Alexis had told her that he wanted to see her. So, what was stopping her now?

And in that moment, Beckett finally realizes the answer as her knuckles rap twice against the wooden door. She exhales sharply before taking a deep breath to calm herself. She hears Castle on the other side of the door, smiling at the fact that he's teasing his mother. It was so Castle.

She hears the tumbler for the lock turn, and she braces herself. Beckett answers her question quietly as the door opens. She smiles once more upon realizing the answer. Because there was absolutely nothing stopping her now.

_**Continued**_


	14. Chapter 14

Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 14 of 14. Fun fact. I originally ended this fic with just the one segment. But, then it hit me why I started writing it in the first place. Can you figure it out? Hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. And thanks to all of you that responded with your kind reviews. It means a lot knowing that you guys liked the fic. Sequel?

* * *

><p><strong>Day 29, Hour 18, Minute 19:<strong>

"Kate…"

He thinks that she smiles at him before she crosses the distance between the hallway and the door and wraps her arms around him. Her voice is hushed, Castle almost hearing the sorrow in her voice as she speaks. "Rick. Where have you been? And what happened to your hand?"

He feels her arms tighten around his waist, so he reciprocates in kind, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "It's a long story."

"It's okay. I've got all the time in the world."

He smiles against her neck before pulling away from her, breaking his embrace. "Come on in." She nods before walking past him into the living room. She sits on the couch closest to her as Castle hesitates for a moment, deciding what exactly he's going to tell her. However, when she turns back to look at him, the sincerity in her gaze, he knows what he has to do. To be honest, there was only ever the one choice.

Beckett watches intently as Castle disappears into his study for the briefest of moments before emerging with a manila folder. She can see that he's gripping it tightly, as though it's the most important object in the world. "What…?"

Castle interrupts her by sitting opposite her on the other side of the coffee table, placing the folder in front of her. "I promised myself that I wouldn't make the same mistake Captain Montgomery made." He can see the confusion in Beckett's demeanor, so he continues. "Take your time. When you're done, we'll talk."

She's still confused, but nods slightly as Castle gets back up from the couch, returning to his study to give her some privacy. He sits behind his desk, about to check his e-mail, but the reflection in the screen gives him pause. He raises his right hand to his cheek, gently rubbing it, the thick hair covering his face surprising him. "I really need to shave." His gaze falls on his hand, Castle noting the splint for his pinky and ring finger. He knows his hand should hurt tremendously, but at this current moment, he feels numb.

Disconnected.

Maybe the scotch was finally working.

The sound at the connecting entrance between the living room and study stirs him from his thoughts as he quickly pulls his hand to his side, watching Beckett intently as she struggles with her words.

"Where…where did you get this?"

Castle rises from his chair, walking around to the front of his desk as he speaks. "Montgomery. I got them from Evelyn."

"Them? There's more than the one folder?" Castle nods. "Can I see them?"

He can hear the desperation in her voice, and he knows that she's about to lose herself once more. He promised himself that he'd never see her like that again. No matter the cost. "Yeah. But before you do, I have to tell you the repercussions if you decide to do what I think you're about to do."

"Castle…"

He interrupts her, knowing that if he listens to her, he'll most likely relent. And he can't. Not now. "I made a deal with the man responsible for your mother's death." He can see the surprise on Beckett's face. Nevertheless, he continues. "Well, not directly. I was able to gain an audience with one of his associates. And after some…" He chooses his words carefully. "Negotiations, we came to an agreement."

He can hear the anger in Beckett's voice as she speaks. "Which is what? As long as I don't actively try to find the man responsible for my mother's death, they'll leave me alone?" Castle nods, knowing that words will just anger her more. "And if I do continue, they'll kill me, right?" At this point, Beckett's certain that Castle will nod his head once more. So it's a genuine surprise when he instead shakes his head slowly, his voice now solemn.

"No." He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Me."

She doesn't understand his response. No, that's not true. She doesn't want to understand his response. The urgency in her voice is clearly evident. "What?"

He doesn't look at her as he speaks. "They'll kill me."

Beckett feels as though someone's shot her again, the air leaving chest in a sharp exhale. Suddenly, the man's question in the coffee shop suddenly makes sense. "What…what did you do?"

"What I had to do."

The anger and hopelessness are evident in her voice as she spits her words at him. "What did you do?"

Castle sighs, the exhaustion beginning to overcome him. Not having a good night's sleep since the woman in front of him was shot is to blame for that. He leans back against his desk, his palms bracing him as he looks up at Beckett. "I gave you your opening." Once again, the confusion is evident on Beckett's demeanor, as if Castle is speaking in tongues. "It may be tomorrow. It may be years from now. But once we finally discover the identity of the man that killed your mother, you get one clean shot at him while…"

Beckett finishes his thought, realizing the magnitude of what the man in front of her has done. "While they kill you."

"Kate…"

"How could you even think I'd be okay with this?"

He answers truthfully. "Because it's your mother."

Their eyes lock across the room, and Beckett can see the sincerity in his eyes. And something else that she can't quite make out. "Your life for hers?"

"No." Castle doesn't break his connection with Beckett as he answers her. "My life for yours." And in that moment, Beckett realizes what else she sees in his eyes. She sees love. It's been so long since she's seen it that upon seeing it, coupled with Castle's honesty, she finds herself taken aback. "You get to wake up in the morning without having to worry about looking over your shoulder."

"And what about Martha and Alexis? What do they think about this plan of yours?" She doesn't realize that her voice is breaking at this point.

"They'll be taken care of if things come to pass. I made sure of that. Part of my deal." He chuckles softly at the absurdity of the conversation he's currently having. It's almost as if he's running through lines for a Derrick Storm novel.

"How can you laugh at a time like this?"

A frown quickly replaces the meager smile that once occupied his face. "Because I just realized that me from three years ago would never even be here." He pushes off from the desk, beginning to walk toward Beckett. He stops mere inches from her, looking down at her as he continues. "But then again, the me from back then had no idea about the kind of person you really were."

"Rick…" She now knows that her voice is breaking. Because of the tears that are threatening to flow freely. She begins to turn away from him, but his hand cups her chin, gently turning her gaze back to his.

"You had to turn me into a better man, didn't you?" And here comes the tears. With that one question, Beckett can feel her walls crumbling apart. She can feel his arms encircling her, but she makes no motion to break free. Instead, she falls into his embrace, her face now buried into his chest as the sobs resonate. "I made a promise. That we'd see this all the way to the end." He drops a small kiss on the top of her head, her arms now reciprocating in kind as they wrap around his waist.

"I never asked you to do this." The sadness in her voice is unmistakable.

Castle pulls her closer, his voice hushed. "You didn't have to." He can feel her fingers clenching his shirt, as though she's trying to maintain her balance. "You once told me that there were three people that you believed were incapable of murder. I've got something similar to that." He pauses, wanting to make sure that he chooses the right words. "There are three people whose life I put ahead of my own. My mother. Alexis." He pulls away from her, his hands finding both sides of her face, cupping it gently in his embrace, as he looks intently into her eyes. Eyes that are brimming with tears. "And you."

Beckett's response shakes Castle to the core. "I don't want to lose you." She sobs, tears running freely down her cheeks. "I can't lose you." Her head finds respite against his shoulder, Beckett once again trying her best to hold on to Castle and not let him go. "Not when I finally got you back."

Castle can feel her trembling against his body, even though he has a fire going. Was Beckett actually afraid? He wraps his arms around her waist, trying to steady her, as he speaks. "I'm here, Kate. I'll be here for as long as you'll let me." His mother's advice comes flying back to him, on that night when Beckett had told him that they were over. "I don't want to waste another minute."

Beckett looks up at Castle, his eyes matching hers now as the tears begin to well. Her hand cups the side of his cheek, her thumb gently caressing the stubble now covering it. "Then let's not."

She leans forward slowly, her lips gently pressing against his. His mouth opens at her touch, sighing as his injured hand moves to the small of her back, his other hand now cradling the nape of her neck. Beckett follows in kind, her arms encircling Castle's neck, pulling him closer to her, their lips entangled in a battle they faintly remember all those nights ago.

But unlike that night, when the truth was buried under trepidation and cowardice, there's no mistaking the meaning behind this kiss. Their mouths hungrily find each other's again and again when they break momentarily to catch their breath. Their hands attempt to pull the other closer, even though their bodies are pressed against the other. They moan and sigh, whispering the other's name in reverie, neither trying to hide the pent up passion each has held in reserve until now.

They don't want this moment to stop.

They can't stop.

They want this moment to go on forever. Because neither of them wants to face tomorrow. Because both know that there'll be a time when this moment might not be possible, given Castle's deal with the devil. So, instead, they live for the moment. They live for today.

Because both realize that living for tomorrow is no longer an option.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 29, Hour 20, Minute 27:<strong>

His hand gently caresses her hair, her breath on his naked chest sending shivers down his spine. He can feel her arms adjusting about his waist as she shifts against the side of his body, her right leg entwining with his own. He can only see the top of her head from his current position, so he has no idea if she's awake or asleep. He could ask her, but the silence comforts him right now.

He runs his fingers through her hair, still marveling at the fact that he's actually running his fingers through her warm, damp hair. And, somehow, it still smells like cherries. He'd have to ask her about her cherry fetish one of these days. But right now, the smell puts him at ease. It had only been a couple of hours, but in that time, Castle explored her entire body, memorizing every curve, every freckle on her supple skin. He tells himself that it's the writer in him that's taking notes, but Castle knows better.

There's a chance that Beckett might change her mind.

Castle shakes his head slightly, trying to push the thought away, as his hand moves to her back, gently tracing circles with his middle and index finger. He looks back down to Beckett, her head nestled against his chest, and just watches her as he rubs her back. After a few moments, he sees that her breathing is steady, rhythmic.

She's asleep, he thinks to himself.

Castle stifles a small yawn, realizing that the weeks of troublesome sleep have taken their toll on him. Well, that, and the past two hours with the woman pressed against his side. However, with Beckett next to him, Castle feels as though sleep might not be a problem this night. He can feel his eyelids beginning to take on extra weight, as he feels Beckett's naked breast brush against his chest as she tightens her embrace.

Naked Beckett.

Castle smiles at the thought as he drops a small kiss on top of her head. He loves her. Heart and soul, he loves her. He'd do anything for her. Even die for her, if it came to that. But he doesn't dare tell her that. It took her getting shot for him to verbalize his feelings for her. And, as much as he's loath to admit it, his mother was right. He sure did have a hell of time finding the right words when it counted.

Sleep begins to envelop him, and he finds that he can no longer fight it. He's only been fighting it this long because he's afraid that when he wakes up, she'll be gone. But, he can't hold out any longer. So, as he begins to close his eyes, he whispers to her, even though he knows she's asleep. He whispers what Beckett truly means to him.

"I don't know how to be me without you anymore."

And then darkness.

But, if Castle had been able to maintain consciousness for a little while longer, he would have realized that he'd made a mistake.

Beckett drops a small kiss against Castle's chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly, as though she's afraid that he's going to disappear if she doesn't hold him as close to her as humanly possible. And, as she lays there in the darkness, next to her partner, his heartbeat reminding her that he's still next to her, she whispers her response.

"I love you, too."

_**Fin**_


End file.
